The rain water trickling down the mountain, through the lush green grass, meandering, bubbling, becoming a river, and then a glint of a sparkle, as the sun catches the water just right, as the water leaps over the cliff face, and hits the rocks below, creating an effervescent effect. The water droplet joins the turbulent tributary widening as it rushes around the slalom of rocks and tree stumps. The water churning like a chocolate milkshake, taking anything in its wake.
I sit at the edge of the river, taking in the sciens before me. Pondering as the river makes its way to the sea, where it will be embraced and welcomed, and it will become one with the ocean.
We long for that embrace, that welcome, but many times there is that churning in our stomach, that hollow ache, a nervousness. So many mixed motives, shallow promises and emotions that are an undercurrent in all of our lives. It’s a deep well a persons heart, and at times we do not know what will be drawn from its depths.
The longing for change, then the fear of change; change is one of the needed ingredients of life. We have to stop floundering, being afraid or uncertain, and second guessing ourselves, thus preventing the cycle of change. Allowing the metamorphose to take place that will result in the transformation to happen in our lives. This is an ongoing work, a resurrection, a stripping of the gave cloths. Remember we won’t be alone in the journey, as the Lord is at work. Allowing the born again, new creation process to happen in each of our lives. The Lord begins the work and is faithful to bring it to pass, to the completion, and we hope it is here on earth, but the finished work may be when we see the Lord face to face, the ultimate finale.
We punish people, I punish people, for not having done something for me, and they maybe not even aware, and it is no fault of their own. It is my selfishness surfacing, seeking for input, advice, encouragement, knowledge, and the person’s experience that has been offered but not seen; however, not asked for at times.
At times, I feel we have done people wrong and we need to seek reconciliation and allow forgiveness. We at times have felt threatened by the need for change, being overwelmed, under prepared, and frustrated because of the lack of mentorship and training. We desire help and support, and an arm of comfort put around us, in those times we feel alone and vulnerable. These are the times when we feel pressed in the corner, and see nowhere to run, this pressure squeezes out of us our true heart conditions. The true desires surface, allowing us to see the ugly and it can be a sign that help is needed.
We can get frustrated with unfulfilled longings, unmet promises, looking to our closes connections for support, and encouragement, and at times we shouldn’t places so high an expectations on these people. Then there is the pride of not asking for help due to fear, fear of rejection, becoming defensive and non-flexible. Fearful of the input that highlights or brings to the surface the weaknesses we at times try to hide. Like I, or we think, more highly of ourselves than we should, deceiving ourselves, thinking, wanting, and desiring to be a writer, is my goal. Fill in the space for your goal or aspiration. But will these dreams be encouraged, and not shattered by your friends and loved ones, for we are fragile, even more when entering the change of entering the new and unfamiliar, being vulnerable, and wondering, can I share my heart?
We need to jump in the river and see where the current takes us. Will I trust and surrender to the river and not fight against the current, but navigate around the rocks and go with the flow? We have to stop fighting, and surrender to the Holy Spirit, the Anam Cara, our soul friend, teacher, guide, and comforter. The Guide for your life, and my life, the one who knows the way, let us surrender to the flow of the river, surrender to the freedom the change will give, not to resist, but enjoy the ride, and be carried in the direction the Monarch of the Universe has for us. Trusting that they the Triune one know the way, and this is enough.
The Monarch of the Universe, the Guide, Triune one, and the term Anam Cara, are terms I use in my up and coming book. The Anam Cara and the Celtic Tale. The Story of Tobar’s Transformation.